My weekend was full of hot and sharp emotions.
I was just alone with my boyfriend... But that sex was definitely the BEST and I still not sure that I can fell the same in the future. All cuck experiences are (maybe) just shadows compared to THAT, for me.
Of course, this is just my opinion.
I never thought that this would happen to me. At the most unexpected time and with the very important for me person from whom I least expected it.
At that moment, which I will describe below, I really thought that I had a few moments left to live in this world (I am completely alive) and that my new boyfriend would be the reason for this.
I and D. were very tired from an eventful day, but we spent the night together without going to bed.
Due to fatigue, we felt each other much weaker than usual, and soon this became the cause of a misunderstanding.
In our night conversation unexpectedly for me I realized that my new boyfriend has reasons not to trust me completely, as I am a rather closed person, and that perhaps I even follow him to betray later.
The fact is that I do not have personal profiles on social networks, my photos cannot be found on the Internet, I avoid appearing on any videos, I know several languages, I don’t like my name (maybe because it’s not real?) - so in general, I look very suspicious...
But I know too well about Big data and other interesting projects, and I just do not want to participate in this as much as possible. And I've already spoken about the attitude to my name, even here...
Of course, I tried to dispel this misunderstanding, but all my attempts to prove my innocence seemed to make it even worse, and D. only found new reasons not to trust me...
I felt helpless and even told about one of the reasons my secrecy (not the most legal job), adding that now, if he wants, I can be arrested. Instead, he seriously said in a changed voice that he would rather kill me right now so will take a weapon for this.
It was just an acting for him, but for me at that moment my heart began to count the last seconds (or, if I was lucky, minutes) of my life. After my completely failed arguments it was really natural continuation.
The room was dark and quiet. I just sat and did not move, listening to a quiet melody consisting of the beating of my heart, the sound of his footsteps, the rustle of the opening box and the click of the weapon shutter.
It wasn't fear - I'm not afraid to die. But the strongest shock, no doubt, I experienced - I did not understand what was happening and why it was happening, because I didn’t do anything, and vice versa, every time I tried to support and help D...
Is this what he really wants? I can not believe this!
This inner conflict was tearing me apart.
It seemed to me that this was a dream and that this could not be, but I definitely did not sleep, and my dearest man was holding a weapon and trying to shoot, aiming directly at me.
I silently looked into his eyes, avoiding looking below.
It was several long attempts to shoot. Time passed very slowly - as if I wanted to delay the time myself in order to live a little more, and again looked into his eyes.
Does he really feel my state now and still persistently continues this torture? Does he like to hurt me? But it is impossible!
I didn't understand anything.
If it were any other person, I would find a way to run outside and call for help. But that was my dear D., and I just accepted his decision.
Because I like to do what he wants, except for things related to sex where the other person is present.
Getting shot wasn’t as hard as sitting around waiting for it and still being alive with every new attempt.
It wore me down, but every misfire gave me a few more seconds to think.
I still sat motionless in bed and thought.
It's a pity that everything will end so quickly and I won't have time to try other tastes of life and become better, maybe even make things around me a little better...
It's sad that I can't kiss him before leaving for another world...
At the same time, somewhere in the depths of myself, I was glad that I was spending my last minutes alone with him...
But suddenly he said that the weapon was not real and this slow torture was over.
I just looked at him in surprise and did not know what to think.
I definitely felt like I was pardoned the second before the execution at that moment.
And I was so happy to be with him again, to get this opportunity to be together again.
After that, he fucked me and it was just amazing - after standing on the verge of death to feel as alive as possible, this feeling cannot be described in words.
This experience became precious to me.
I was very tired without sleeping for a day. But I felt life with my whole body.
I felt his big and hard cock inside and was as alive as possible.
It was incredibly hot.
Later:
D. really didn't know that such things were too serious for me to joke with them like that. He thought I was acting too.
Yes, exactly the same experience I had in the past, then my ex aimed at my head, and the weapon was firearms.
I told him something about my past. And the gap between our slowly converging worlds became smaller.
I came to my boyfriend in the evening, and sincerely thanked this world for the opportunity to be alive and hug D.
We both need a long time to learn to truly understand each other.
On that day, I realized that death really brings people together.
Even if it's not real. But it's breath is infinitely strong.
It's good that this is just an acting and everyone is alive.
I just want everyone to be healthy and happy.
And to be able to hug D.
And not just to hug.
